Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." H.Jackson Brown, Jr.

As the weather warms, I'm beginning to find it more and more difficult to remain inside for an extended period of time, long enough at least to get a solid passage to post. Though I am in the middle of one :) And I hope to have it done before the week is through :)))) If I can make it that far that is :) Sleepy me, fell asleep without hitting publish on this lastnight :) lol :) The good news is, It's supposed to rain all week :) Aside from the few, quick, misty walks in the rain, i'll be grounded :) Until next week at least :) So! 

Sit tight my dears :)

Light's Blessing
Fox :)

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Storm Moon

Last night I attended the new moon ritual at the Sacred Mists :) The experience was absolutely amazing :) And Tansy did a wonderful job :) By far the most interesting part though, was the meditation. I've spoken to a few others, and they've said the same, that messages most often get passed to them during the meditation. And Last night, was no exception :) I wrote this shortly after the ritual, as it's important to journal all your thoughts etc after attending them :) Sorry for any mistakes :) It was 1 am when i cut myself off, and went to bed :) Enjoy :)

The scene cut in to the exit of the cave, facing downward toward the ocean, it's spray, lashing cold to the touch, yet far enough away, one wouldn't be soaked. The winding path let downward, cutting across the face of the cliff housing the cave. Across, sharply, to the south, rocks, with the texture of volcanic burst, porous, from the years of being beat on by the wind and sea. Away from the cave, whose entrance quite frightened me, not the cave itself, but the sea outside it. For the sea at dark frightens me. Whether it's the constant drum, and lash of cold, I do not know, perhaps it's a piece of me from another lifetime, drawn back. Whatever the reason, I fear the ocean at night, it makes me feel cold, and weak. Reaching the shore below, I didn't feel as nearly as bad, having solid (well "solid") ground beneath my feet. The sand, was poorly lit, as there was no moon, but the stars shone bright up above. Yet it was bright enough for me to make out where i was going with ease, and to see the shoreline above. Where things faltered. I was unable to stitch into my mind the piece which tansy had described, I was able to, for most of it, but one area i couldn't place at all. The mint, Described to us was a forest, with all the sounds of animals and trees, and the scent of mint and herbs, I was only able to bring the forest to mind, and it remained in solid for quite some time. Until we were given a solid stone. Literally, where we were told to sit :) At that point the forest retained its shape, as did the beach. Both stopped changing their forms to fit with one another, and i sat to rest on a large, flat, stone. Wide enough for 3, yet comfortable for one. Sitting there, she mentioned the movement, and from then on, I was only vaguely aware of what tansy was posting. From then on, it was like being swept off my feet, and the wind knocked out of you. I closed my eyes. And saw the following scene.

Sitting on my stone, I leaned forward, to lay my elbows to rest on my knees, and gaze out across the sea, not truly seeing, but hearing, feeling, the sea. As it thrummed upon the shore, the sound of a slowly beating heart, when i felt a presence beside me, and broke my stare. 

There, Sitting next to me, tail, wrapped around her front paws, was my fox. Not an un ordinary sight. We'd met many times before, using the term many quite loosly, enough though that we each knew eachother well enough, to recognize eachother's presence. She sat, soft, wide, tail, fluffed up around her, and stared at me. Our eyes met, hers, deep, emerald green, into mine. Then, the voice, she needed no words to speak, yet less than that, I've never understood how, yet i knew exactly what she meant when she spoke in my mind. No words, were ever passed between us. Yet, always, we knew, when the other was silent, and one was speaking, though feeling alone. She spoke to me, one way or another. In a language, no amount of words could begin to describe, as i've learned, long before, one can never truly put emotions into words. And that was the language she spoke. So I won't begin to explain what was said, though the message was clear, and i know what she wanted me to do. And as we sat, i stared at her, into her eyes, and she flickered.

Something that had never happened before. Her whole being, flickered, away, for a moment, though her eyes never parted from mine, but there, for a second, was a different fox. 

Rattled, i moved a bit, steadying myself on my stone, though our eyes never parted. She stood. And began to walk, slowly, away, pausing only for a second, to look over her shoulder, and catch me by the eye once again, The message sent then i can easily say here. "*sigh*, Cmon". That was by far the easiest thing said all night lol :) I stood, still rattled, that my, at this point i'm not truly sure what to call her anymore, Though, I have a feeling, she was a guardian? Of sorts? Regardless, we walked, over, to the peak of the cliff, where I stood, next to her, sitting, tail wrapped around her paws, and stared out into the sea, a small breeze kicked up, and blew her fur around a bit, but it wasn't enough to make me cold. We were no longer looking at eachother, only to the sea, then i felt her eyes upon me. I turned, to face her, and we both slowly turned, to make the slow journy, across the rocky, mountain side cliff, toward the cave where this all began, the stars above had begun to be blotted out by a thin rush of clouds moving in. 

We traveled slowly, Me in front, her behind, up, along the path, til we reached the entrance of the cave, now dark, fire gone. 

I stepped inside, out of the spray of the cold, of the waves, crashing against the rocks outside, and turned to face her.

She hadn't moved.

We locked eyes, and i begged her, not to go. Desperately, i took a step, toward her, out of the cave. She lashed out then, and snapped at me, letting out a ever so stern growl. something i'd never seen before, startled, I fell back, onto the ground, and looked upon her with fear. She sat, fur, ruffled by the wind, and stared at me. And gave me, one, final, gift. And said goodbye. Taking a piece of me with her. My guardian was gone. I sat in the dark, cave, stars above, sea below, unable to move, to think. Then, from behind, I felt warmth. And something soft, brush across my back, laying to rest, beside my arm.

I looked down, and there, was an old, pure, white fox. Eyes, gleaming up at me. Fur, white as snow, and eyes, as deep as the sea. Head, lain gently in my lap. Staring at me. For the first time in my life, I heard a different voice within my mind. Though I know i will never lose the first, i know the 2nd is here to stay, for quite some time. I gently reached down, and slowly stroked, the back of her fur. A feeling, which i dare not go into detail about here, for i'll just ramble on, about pillows, and feathers and fluff, trying to place exactly what it felt like. But it was a passage, of sorts, for the first fox i'd had, had done the same thing for me, though i'd never touched her again. It's acceptance. She let me pet her for a while. until, finally, she stood, and turned to me, sitting on the ground, staring into my eyes. There, sitting exactly the same was as before, was the fox i'd seen when my old friend, flickered away, for a second, I know i'm rushing into this all, but i've been writing for some time. Then, I noticed another thing. She didn't sit right, the way my old guard had, tail round her paws, she sat more, upon one leg, leaned to one side, with her tail wrapped halfway around her, in a leaning sort of position, I stood, (more talking, though she's harder to understand than my old friend? I'm not sure why, could be because we haven't talked before?) And she turned, and began to walk into the cave, which i now noticed, had no back, she led the way, and I followed her.

Snapping out of this vision some time around then, I stared down at my chat box, as the group was lighting the southern candle. No clue how long i'd been out. 

I ended there, too tired to go on, and i'd just caught sight of the clock. I only remember that I wanted to clear a few things up in the morning, what those things were, now, i have no clue. Which shows just how important it is to journal your thoughts right after :)

Merry meet, and Merry part

Light's Blessing